April 14, 2010
indy
my dog died.
now i know what it feels like. it's absolutely horrible. it's hard to write. but i can't skip over this. maybe some of you guys have been through it and can sympathize. she was our one and only. the family dog. my growing-up dog.
indy was her name. she was part of every aspect of family life. she knew all of our names and faces and voices and schedules. and because she belonged to us, i thought she was the greatest. i had pictures of her in my locker in jr. high. i teased her and talked to her like she understood. (she learned a lot of words.) i tried to sing her to sleep. i hugged her neck. i got way too close to her face, which she thought was dumb and tried to ignore me whenever i did it. i had my sisters put the phone by her ear so she could hear my voice while i was away at camp. i taught her who grant was. i loved that girl. last night, a heart attack took her away forever.
i'm happy i had to go to preschool today because it forced me to keep my mind busy and be cheerful. when i sit still, the tears keep seeping out.
goodbye, puppy.
indyandme

28 comments:

Anneliese said...

i am a sympathizer. we had a lot of dogs growing up & a lot die. but it was always sad. it is one of the few memories i have of my mom crying. when we had to give up the dog that shawn got me when we had been married for a while...i cried. really hard. so it is ok :) and normal. someday maybe you can have a dog for your family...and you will love her!

kristin said...

oh my goodness, i'm so sorry! having a pet die is the worst. and some people don't understand and they think you are silly when you have loved an animal so much. it just feels like your friend is gone. but you can just be sad for a bit and then it will get better.

plus, i'm absolutely certain that we get our pets back in heaven. :)

Simply Live said...

Cry...let it all out. It's ok to be emotional. What is your favorite memory of your dog? Did she have any quirks that make you laugh and think "that's so typical?"

Melissa said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Pets have that special way of working their way into our lives and hearts. It's heartbreaking when they pass! I have a 16 yr old dog who I've had since the day she was born. I know that when she dies I'll be a complete mess!

((hugs))

Rachel said...

Oh, you poor thing! I'm so sorry. I've been there and the recovery is so slow. Things do get better, memories do get even sweeter. It just takes a lot of time.

ChelseaF said...

So sorry, she was the sweetest. Thanks for sharing your heart!

Victoria said...

Summer - Thanks for telling us about Indy. It's been 4 years since I lost my dog. Our family had had him since I was 15. It's so hard to explain the emotions behind a pet's death to people who haven't lost one, but it's a club that I don't want anyone else to have to join.

I have to second Kristin and promise that it will get better; you'll still miss Indy, but the good memories will outweigh the shock you're feeling right now.

ampersandity said...

oh summer, i'm so sorry! dogs are truly unique companions, sometimes in ways that humans lack. so sorry for your loss & hope your family is coping well...

Christina said...

:-( I've lost two dogs before; it's really hard.

Renee said...

oh summer...what a nice tribute to indy! and what great blogger friends you have that understand our pain and loss.... their advice and words of comfort are such a gift to you, and to those of us reading along!
time is the best healer...
love you much!

Hannah said...

We are dog lovers. We name children after dogs. Really, we do. My heart goes out to you. Dogs are the most loyal, broken hearted and humble animals there are. They are true friends and don't care who you are. Sounds like you had a good dog. I believe firmly in eternal families...and that dogs are family members. You'll see her again.

Praying for you and yours.

Jules said...

I can tell you everything about the day my Beagle, Prince, died when I was in college 15 years ago. EVERYTHING...down to the tears I couldn't stop from coming for a very long time.

I'll be thinking of you. It will get better.

Mom Judy said...

Summer, I am so sorry to hear about Indy. I loved the pictures of her. I do not think that I ever got to see her. Now I know why you love your dog.

Anonymous said...

I teared up just reading about your loss. Losing a best dog friend is horrible :( I've been through it and it was about 5 years before I could even consider getting another one, but eventually I was able to and I love her so much! I wish dogs lived as long as we do, so we could pick one to have our whole lives!
You will see her again...she will be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge :)
Dee

marta said...

oh summ, my heart broke along with yours right at the first sentence. i'm so sad to hear of your loss. what a great name for a great dog. i'm happy you had so many happy memories with indy, such a good dog.

our dog (our one and only) died when i was in middle school and oh, i cried the entire day through. it was horrible. but now the pain has faded into good memories and lots of stories of our peaches. oh they are such good friends, aren't they!?

wishing you peace. xo.

Ash said...

Summer, I know I don't comment much anymore, but I want you to know I still read your blog, and my heart is broken for you. A few years ago, my dig who was 13 got lung cancer and soon after we found out, she had a kidney infection and could barely walk. We put her to sleep, and after doing so, I felt the worst I've ever felt in my life. She was my golden dog... She napped with me, played with me, kept me company after my parents divorced and my mom began working full time. I loved her so much, and I was so devastated. My childhood really felt over then.

I still think about her often; I'm sure you will always remember Indy. She looks so sweet, and I'm so glad you had such a good friend, even if just for a little while. I'm here for you, and I'm glad you posted this... Thanks for sharing this little bit of yourself. That was really brave. Oh, and a tip: it is ok if when you watch movies with dogs in them to cry. I did that a lot. And it's ok to cry about it for a while... She was (and is) part of the family. You'll see her in heaven someday.

Ash said...

Sorry, I meant dog not dig. Small keyboard!

ashley maureen said...

summer, i'm so sorry. know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. cry it out, soak up the memories, take delight in the simple pleasures over the next little while. it will get better.

Judi said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been there a couple of times. Dogs are part of a family and it hurts when they pass on. I pray that you will be able to focus on the good memories of your time together.

kitchendoor said...

Oh, Summer, I'm so sorry. Our dog died when I was in college, and I was completely inconsolable. It's such a huge, peculiar loss. Am thinking of you today.

Nessa said...

Summer, my thoughts will be with you and your family. It is true what the others say - time is the only thing that makes it feel better. It has been 3 years since we had to put my Zoey to sleep. I still get sad - but then I try to think on how lucky I was to have a companion that great and make myself smile because of it...

EliseBlaha said...

i'm so sorry. when my family dog passed away i was shocked at how said i was. and how long it took to get over it. even now, when i come home to my family house, i always expect her to be there.

hugs. love.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss!!! My heart goes out to you and your family!
Tammie Moore

nataliep. said...

oh summer, my heart breaks with you and your family. i'm so sorry for your loss. prayers.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Indy
:( She sounded like a lovely dog. Dogs become such an important member of one's family that their loss is greatly felt when they are gone. Thinking of you x

sk said...

Aww. I'm so so sorry for your loss. My dog is my best friend, my baby, I would (ugh, will!) be very sad (total understatement) when he goes. My heart goes out to you now!

Meredith from PenelopeLovesLists said...

I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I both can and can't imagine the pain. I can bc I love my dog immensely and I can't bc I haven't been through exactly that.

But I love that you wrote about it honestly and are willing to share this experience authentically. Thanks for that.

sheena said...

I am so so sorry. I hurt for you right now (I hope by now you are doing better!)

I remember when our family dog died when I was in jr. high. I cried and cried for days...it is the worst feeling.

I will give extra hugs to my charly for you, and hope she can live up to be as amazing as a dog as your indy:)

hello

hello

about this blog

Hello, I'm Summer. A people-loving introvert whose hope and life is in Jesus. His promises are my passion and my ministry is homelife. This blog is a place for me to write about everyday things. Especially food. My favorite thing to do is sit around a table, lingering over a long meal with good conversation. I live with my husband and our 2 littles. We like blizzards, thrifting, grammar, guacamole, cheerful hearts, nice manners, good movies, and making simple, real, nutrient-dense food.

"If Christ be anything, He must be everything."
-C.H. Spurgeon

old posts