Whew! Hi guys! We've been here (living at camp) a week already and this is the first time the thought of blogging has even struck me. (!!!) We finished up the school year last Friday and the very next morning we packed up the car and closed up the house in town! And here we are. My days are much the same -- keeping my little ones in tow and entertained and fed and safe and somewhat clean, and the laundry in progress. I also wipe a ton of drool from my teething boy's chin and the cute little buns of my almost-3-year-old potty training/trained girl. I feel like I transferred my normal job to a new, prettier location, with super fun neighbors. Casper is getting close to the point of a good nap and nighttime routine and Hadley is loving living around her friends, playing endlessly, and sleeping hard. And we're working on not being afraid of Champ the camp dog ;)

Grant has already been out mowing (with eye protection on- don't worry) and the anniversary of his injury just passed. We are so thankful that the Lord spared his eye and we continue to pray for full healing and clear sight someday, if that's the Lord's will.

Summer's off to a great start! Tomorrow morning is the first staff meeting of the 2014 season and I cannot wait. I'm a sucker for meetings.

Our thoughts have been getting really camp-centered lately. I've been sorting summer clothes and cleaning out kitchen cupboards and we'll be moving to Camp Shetek in just 3 days! This will be my 8th year at our summer home and I'm so excited to see what Jesus has in store. For anyone reading who doesn't know our story... Grant and I met at this camp in 2006 and have had the opportunity to live and work there together since 2007. Grant's job will be helping maintain the camp grounds as well as giving tube rides on the lake, helping with the ropes course, organizing Mail Call, hosting Skit Night, and filming, editing, + producing all of the camp videos. This year I won't have official camp responsibilities, as my family responsibilities are already a full-time gig. :)


I've been thinking a lot on what my summer mindset should be. Honestly, I'm dreaming of having quiet time in this spot -- making good use of the way the Lord reveals Himself in nature and in His word. I always feel a revived and particular closeness to Him when I'm out here, with the lake and the sky the only things in my view. I'm really gonna try to make time for more purposeful dock-sitting + bible reading this summer at camp. You'd think, living at a bible camp, it would be easy to do both of those things, but it's actually a real challenge.

Not only do I tend to skimp on important things with the fun and freedom that comes with summer, but camp days are our busiest and good habits are easily lost when you uproot normal family life. And I'm a nursing mom + toddler mom, so realistically, it's hard to carve out quiet alone time. The summer days are full and the sun shines long and it makes my mind coast. This year I want to stop that trend. Complacency is not what I want camp to be for me. 

I'm praying for a summer of growth in grace and no more coasting. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. // Let Thy grace Lord, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee. 

"Don't let summer make your soul shrivel. God made summer as a foretaste of heaven, not a substitute... It is God’s earth! It is a video preview to the reality of what the eternal summer will be like when “The city has no need of sun or moon to shine upon it, for the glory of God is its light, and its lamp is the Lamb” (Rev. 21:23).
The summer sun is a mere pointer to the sun that will be. The glory of God. Summer is for seeing and showing that. Do you want to have eyes to see? Lord, let us see the light beyond the light." -John Piper

Jesus has been hard at work on my heart these past couple months. As spring came, so did my own awakening. This quote from C.H. Spurgeon sums it up right:

"Fair weather is smiling upon the face of the earth, and He would not have me spiritually asleep while nature is all around me awaking from her winter's rest. He bids me "Rise up," and well He may, for I have long enough been lying among the pots of worldliness. He is risen, I am risen in Him, why then should I cleave unto the dust? From lower loves, desires, pursuits, and aspirations, I would rise towards Him."

I really don't even know how best to document this transformation happening in me. So, naturally, I'll make a list. Here are just a few of the lessons and thoughts that are changing my life lately.... it would be so sweet if the Lord uses them to bless someone else in their walk with Him, and I pray that He would! But regardless, I still need to be writing them down, for my own sake.

1. My sin. I will begin at the beginning. It really all started on March 5th. On this day in history, I saw my sin. I mean, it wasn't the first occasion for that to happen, but this was different. It was nap time at our house, I went to the guest room to sit on the bed and feed Casper and I started to read my bible. Suddenly, like a grand unveiling, the Holy Spirit convicted me of sin. It was a specific sin that had been lying stagnant under the surface for years and the Lord revealed it to me in a new light.  I was deeply grieved by what I had done/had been doing. I felt the weight of my guilt. I felt the depths of His grace. I had felt them both before, but this was the heaviest and deepest (respectively) they had ever been to me. It was so hard and sad, so liberating and wonderful. My heart was broken, but bursting at the same time! All because of Jesus. I knew this revelation, this sin experience, was going to change me; it was going to unlock the dungeons of my heart and mobilize my will to fight against sin. Grant came home from work and found me still sitting on the guest bed, holding a sleeping Casper, crying my eyes out. He was so excited for me when I told him what had happened. And it was one of the best days of my life.

2. Feeling, tasting, seeing. Just moments after awakening to my sin, I went googling. I was looking up the bible verses I wanted to read for instruction and finding some articles for encouragement, and the Lord brought me right here:

"...maybe God has brought you to this point of feeling your guilt so that grace would taste sweeter than it ever has. We have to see our sin, but some of us have grown up in such goody-goody homes that we don't think we've ever done anything serious." - John Piper, emphasis mine.

The day after, I posted this photo to Instagram, to help me remember what had been done for me. There's nothing like a selfie to mark your memory. ;)



3. My good resolve. Just 2 days before seeing my sin, this devotional was preparing my heart. And it has left a scar on my sin attitude that, Lord willing, will not soon fade away.


4. The fight. This was so inspiring to me! Now that I am awake to my sin, and one in particular that I will do battle with on a daily basis, I can fight it! And how do I fight against sin? What do I do when I feel myself starting to cave to it? This tool is the first thing I turn to, because it works. And because it has become part of the way my mind moves. When I first heard it, it made so much sense. Piper's A.P.T.A.T. -- write it out somewhere, my friends. Here's the simplest explanation.


Well, these 4 items barely scrape the icing off this cake the Lord has handed me this spring. More heart issues to be shared soonish, so I'll say To be continued...