April 28, 2011
you guys. in the past few days, it has really settled in. i feel pregnant.
some friends told me that week 34 could be the point where i feel this, and sure enough, they were right. but let me begin by saying this: i'm learning that there are whole new levels to the with child state. i might be glad that some are just temporary, but i'm happy and amazed that they are happening. (this is not a whining session.) i now know the feeling of being tired from walking over to the sink. i know the feeling of "this is the last time i try to lift this laundry by myself." i know losing my thoughts and forgetting what i was going to say. i know blood pumping from just standing around. i know sore feet and weak arms. i know laying in bed, not being able to get a deep breath. i know heartburn. i know waking up. a lot. i know having to take it easy.

and then there are other hours of the day.
when i'm me. i don't feel a thing other than myself. i'm just a girl making granola or cleaning her bathroom sink (both things i finally did today!) or sitting cross-legged on the couch watching news about the royal wedding, and feeling the same way i do every end-of-april. i'm ready to wear flip-flops and am counting down the days left at school...

oh, and realizing that a baby will be here in a matter of weeks. 5, 6, 7 weeks? it doesn't really matter, because they are sure to be busy, and gone before i know it. that's partly why this week has taken a path of its own, and why it didn't include much computer time. i've been spending it figuring out my changing body and life, and trying to keep up. i haven't even been here to wish you all a happy easter or say thank you for the birthday love! (i am so behind on my thank yous- it's embarrassing. but thank you!!) i am also behind on taking tummy photos. i am also behind on reading a stack of library books, which will now need to be renewed. because lately, being diligent in the daily things takes all of me.

but i am thankful for each little thing that gets done, all the way down to taking a vitamin. i'm thankful that i have things to do, that i'm feeling the weight of expecting a child, that our living room has been re-arranged, that the computer has been ignored, that i can feel baby squirms, that it didn't rain today, that some mornings go by too fast because i've been filling up notecards with bible verses to remember during labor, that i have an awesome husband who makes sure we still hang out, and most of all, that my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. thank goodness i have Him to be my priority and to make my paths straight. even when i feel like i'm barely keeping up with what's going on today, i can use Him as my sun, my shield, and my guide.

10 comments:

Anchor's Aweigh! said...

for my best friends baby shower, i put together a collection of Bible verses specifically for Labor. I called it her "Labor-Aid" and put a picture of the koolaid guy on it.

here is the link (http://ouranchorsaweigh.blogspot.com/2011/04/sunday-snippett_24.html) to some of the verses, I will email you the rest of them.

Heather said...

I'm so happy for you Summer! I had my first baby in February and know all the things you are feeling and experiencing. I'm so glad you are embracing the moment. I never imagined I'd feel this way but I miss being pregnant (even tho it wasn't easy).
Most of all, I love the way you are leaning on the Lord. Love the way you share with us what you are learning. Love that you love HIM.
May all of God's blessings be on your little family!!

Nessa said...

:) lovely... bask in your all you glory as you grow the little one. Amazing what gift we are given in creating life... God is amazing.

Tawnya said...

So sweetly and honestly put. Thinking of you lately and am glad you are taking it easy and ignoring the computer if need be:) (I too am starting to feel like just getting the daily things done is plenty!....I should learn to ignore the computer more!!)

Brea said...

Amen, Sista!

Laura Railing said...

It's so good to be able to just be "in the moment" and off the computer sometimes, especially close to a birth! Bible verses are great things to focus on! Something distracting to focus on is awesome! (Maybe music too?! ;-) ) Counting down the weeks with you! Can't wait!!!

Carissa said...

Your words about your pregnancy are beautiful. It makes me excited for the day when I'm pregnant and going through similar things!

Julia Wade said...

What an incredible time! I know some moments are tough and some are amazing ... and it seems you are taking everything in stride. So wonderful!! Relish every moment .... in a few months you won't even remember being pregnant!

Anonymous said...

Love your realness!!!
Rachelle

marta said...

grateful you wrote this all down in the moment. thank you for sharing your thoughts. days may come that you'll forget what 'feeling pregnant' feels like. am glad you're enjoying it, even in the heavy waking hours. wishing you well.

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about this blog

Hello, I'm Summer. A people-loving introvert whose hope and life is in Jesus. His promises are my passion and my ministry is homelife. This blog is a place for me to write about everyday things. Especially food. My favorite thing to do is sit around a table, lingering over a long meal with good conversation. I live with my husband and our 2 littles. We like blizzards, thrifting, grammar, guacamole, cheerful hearts, nice manners, good movies, and making simple, real, nutrient-dense food.

"If Christ be anything, He must be everything."
-C.H. Spurgeon

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