you guys. in the past few days, it has really settled in. i feel pregnant.
some friends told me that week 34 could be the point where i feel this, and sure enough, they were right. but let me begin by saying this: i'm learning that there are whole new levels to the with child state. i might be glad that some are just temporary, but i'm happy and amazed that they are happening. (this is not a whining session.) i now know the feeling of being tired from walking over to the sink. i know the feeling of "this is the last time i try to lift this laundry by myself." i know losing my thoughts and forgetting what i was going to say. i know blood pumping from just standing around. i know sore feet and weak arms. i know laying in bed, not being able to get a deep breath. i know heartburn. i know waking up. a lot. i know having to take it easy.

and then there are other hours of the day.
when i'm me. i don't feel a thing other than myself. i'm just a girl making granola or cleaning her bathroom sink (both things i finally did today!) or sitting cross-legged on the couch watching news about the royal wedding, and feeling the same way i do every end-of-april. i'm ready to wear flip-flops and am counting down the days left at school...

oh, and realizing that a baby will be here in a matter of weeks. 5, 6, 7 weeks? it doesn't really matter, because they are sure to be busy, and gone before i know it. that's partly why this week has taken a path of its own, and why it didn't include much computer time. i've been spending it figuring out my changing body and life, and trying to keep up. i haven't even been here to wish you all a happy easter or say thank you for the birthday love! (i am so behind on my thank yous- it's embarrassing. but thank you!!) i am also behind on taking tummy photos. i am also behind on reading a stack of library books, which will now need to be renewed. because lately, being diligent in the daily things takes all of me.

but i am thankful for each little thing that gets done, all the way down to taking a vitamin. i'm thankful that i have things to do, that i'm feeling the weight of expecting a child, that our living room has been re-arranged, that the computer has been ignored, that i can feel baby squirms, that it didn't rain today, that some mornings go by too fast because i've been filling up notecards with bible verses to remember during labor, that i have an awesome husband who makes sure we still hang out, and most of all, that my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. thank goodness i have Him to be my priority and to make my paths straight. even when i feel like i'm barely keeping up with what's going on today, i can use Him as my sun, my shield, and my guide.