30 out of 40 weeks completed over here! And feeling really good. That's my thankful for today. I'm so grateful to the Lord for His grace, for a smooth pregnancy so far, and for feeling like myself... well, a rounder version of myself. There's so much of me in front of me these days. Also, those round ligament pains are gone and seem to be staying away, so yay for that, too.

These days, I'm walking slower, but definitely walking. We got a treadmill a couple weeks ago and what a huge friend it's already been. (I'm actually using it! Super important to be able to say that when you make a big purchase and hope, hope, hope it will be a worthwhile one.) It saves so much time bundling up and going to the gym because I can just walk upstairs and do a couple miles and then be back down in time to make dinner. Loving that. Hopefully it will help me finish out this pregnancy strong.

These days, I'm drinking gallons of water and tea, doing pelvic rocks on my hands and knees, and thinking about re-reading my favorite book about birth: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Also, I'm craving pizza (not an actual craving, because pizza always sounds good), snow, and Christmas music. The snow, supposedly, will arrive tomorrow morning. Approximately 3-6 inches. It's like I ordered it! Yay!

These days, we're talking about names for this little someone inside me. It's one of our favorite conversations to have when we fall in bed at night or if we're on a long drive. We never really make any solid decisions, but we're enjoying just bringing it up over and over and pondering our options. We've got lots on our lists that we like, but only a handful that are so us that we can actually picture using them. The naming process is so fun and fascinating to me. Making such a big decision secretly with my husband is a big part of the fun. Definitely one of my favorite parts of being pregnant.



Dear Baby,
You sweet little second of mine. I hope I always remember what a peaceful pregnancy you gave me. If I had to guess just by the ounce of information and experience I've had with you so far, I'd guess that you are going to be a laid-back and accomodating kind of kid. Just thinking about the idea of you coming into our family and making us four, it seems like you might just have a harmonious nature. Here's what's up with you lately: 

You spend most of the day curled up sideways inside me- like you're laying in a little basket. Sometimes you go head-down, but you still move around a lot. Like crazy a lot. In the evenings when I sit with Dad on the couch, we watch you manipulate my stomach with super strong punches and kicks and slides. 

You are growing beautifully and quietly- never giving us any trouble. You let me sleep so deep and help me feel really energetic and creative most days. You are making my hair, nails, and skin thrive. Your heart sounds awesome. You must be liking the food I'm eating because I never feel sick- not even a trace of heartburn lately! Like I said, you don't ask too much of me right now, such an obliging little one you are. 

I'm starting to picture us together in the wee hours of the morning when you wake up hungry. It will be in the middle of the deep, dark, Minnesota wintertime. I've got a comfy chair ready for us, and I'll have twinkly Christmas lights still strung up (no matter how late you come, I promise) and we're already thinking of extra heat in our attic bedroom to keep you warm. I can't wait to have another try at baby-soothing and to remember how to swaddle and to watch your Daddy be a master at the whole newborn in our house thing. He's amazing. I just know you'll love his arms for bouncing and my arms for nursing as much as your sister did. Only 10 more weeks or so until we might be meeting you! Your name is in the works. We'll pick out a good one for you. 

Love you madly,
Mom

dear baby

today is your due date! this day has been looming in my mind for so long that it has felt almost hypothetical. like when we reached it the world might just stop. but that day is real. it's here. i woke up and ate cheerios with granola. i gave your daddy a kiss. i checked the weather and facebook. i took a shower. i'm celebrating by doing normal things. because even though it's here, you're still in there- not to put any pressure on you. i'm done counting days! i'll just be patient until you're ready. i know life must be pretty sweet, sharing chipotle burritos with me. i wouldn't want to leave either.

but just so you know, i'm ready for you. the house is clean, laundry is caught up, diapers are standing by, meals are in the freezer, and my commitments are none. all i have to do is eat and drink and sleep until you come! speaking of which, i wonder when i will get caught by you. what will i be in the middle of when you decide it's time? i'm trying to stay on top of my showering, just in case.

there are so many things i need to get down before it's too late and you're not inside me anymore. i can't imagine that right now, but i know some morning soon i will wake up and be a little freaked out that yes, the bump really is gone. (and i will be able to see your face instead!) i have loved the curve you created in my figure. i love to take extra time staring at this stomach, trying to figure out the miracle. i've loved communicating with you through the funny barrier of my skin. i love to run my fingers over the firmness and picture you waking up from my touch. i love to talk to you every morning while we lay in bed, and ask you if you'll come today?

i've loved the shiver of your stretches, the mystery appendage that pokes my left side, the pressure from your burrowing head, the throb of your tiny hiccups, the lump of your bum pushing straight out in front.. you are so amazing to feel. no one else gets to know you like this. no one else gets to have this time with you. i will savor it until the end.

it's crazy how close we are to meeting. you'd think i'd have a better idea of what you will be like on the outside, but i am stumped. completely. come show me! all i know for sure is that it's going to be miraculous. our tiny family will be three. because you're ours! our baby. 
who i get to meet any. minute. now.

i love you,
your mom

dear baby,

yesterday was my first mother's day. thank you for making me a mom! it's been so fun - meaning, the best thing ever - to take care of you these past 8 months. your daddy got me some truffles and yellow tulips to celebrate, and we spent the evening getting ready for you. there is now a dresser in your room, a little rocking chair, a bookshelf, and a sweet crib that i will love to come rescue you from at the end of every nap. now all we need is you.

these days i'm feeding you fresh salsa and lots of strawberries, good sandwiches, and guess what else? prunes! aren't they yummy? some people say they're icky, but i could eat them by the pound. (although that's probably not the best idea ever.) i think they're really helping my digestion, which has slowed to a crawl in this last trimester. your mom's body is working hard to do this double duty thing!

lately i've been doing stuff like.. small clean-y things around the house, putting a few meals into the freezer for after you arrive, listening to eric hutchinson, doing end-of-the-year tests with the preschoolers, watching our yard green up and get mowed by your dad, getting into the hands-and-knees pilates positions because they feel so good, and singing my favorite hymns to you- so that you'll recognize them when you're here. and i can tell that you hear me when i sing!

a little update on you: wow, you are super strong now. and long. and heavy! there's getting to be a lot more of you inside me. each movement is so precise and visible, i can barely believe that they used to feel like tiny waves deep inside me. it's fun to be so familiar with your moves now.. i know just where your favorite kicking spots are, i feel your hiccups as soon as they start, and i know your little bottom sliding by my belly button better than anything else. i wonder if you've "dropped" in the past couple days because suddenly there is a lot more pressure going on down south. at your last check-up we found out that your head is "engaged" in my pelvis, so hooray for that!

so, we are now officially less than one month away from your due date. exciting! in fact, next week we will be "full term". very exciting. your dad and i are getting really close to finishing up another school year, and i know once summer vacation hits it's just going to feel like one big waiting game. waiting for you. we'll just be hanging out, maybe doing some stuff at camp, so come whenever you feel like it!

mom's praying for you. all the time.
i can't wait for you to come be ours.
loves.

your mom

dear baby

t-minus 8 weeks today! although it feels like this process has gone so quickly (you were inside me way back in september?), being pregnant is starting to feel permanent. i'm starting to forget what it was like before. not that that's a bad thing. i really am having a good time carrying you. not faking it. it's just that i'm anxious to win the prize at the end of this race. you are going to be the biggest and best blue ribbon of my life.

but have i mentioned that your room is not ready yet? so, it's a good thing we still have these next 8 weeks. don't worry, i'm told that when you get here all you'll really want is mom and dad. we're here. and you won't care about paint colors for a long time yet.

we're scheduling appointments for you every other week now. i guess that's our cue to get ready. you'll be here soon! and you are doing your part. how you've grown since i last wrote to you! we keep getting all good reports. and you're sitting head down, too! way to go. that news made your mommy so happy. i just love being able to picture how you're riding around. i even learned how to feel your head, which was a crazy moment. i always get the giggles while i'm laying down for your check-ups... partly because i'm so ticklish, but mostly because i'm freaking out because you are real.

i can definitely tell that you're the boss of my body now.. taking charge of when i go to the bathroom and how deeply i can breathe and making sure i get up at least once during the night. you've cleared a nice path for your hang-out, and everything else (like, organs) is getting pushed up and out. i can feel it! it's amazing. tossing and turning in bed isn't quite as effortless as it sounds anymore. i usually support both sides of my tummy with my hands before i make a move now. it's fun to have to think about you more and more as you grow.

i keep thinking about how fun it would be to go swimming while you're inside me. i just know it would feel awesome. i also keep trying to picture calling you by name. and listening for your cry. i dream about coming to the rescue when i hear you crying. i can't wait to be what you need most.

your dad will be home for the weekend soon! i'm sure we'll talk about you a lot. we always do.

loves,
your mom

dear baby

how i wonder what you are.

i can't picture what a little bit of your dad plus a little bit of me could possibly look like. will you have our dark brown eyes? will you have my chipmunk cheeks? will you get your dad's extra long torso? what will your hair look like? whatever you have, no one's ever seen it before. and i know i'm going to love it.

last week i made a list of a whole bunch of things we can do together someday. i remember a lot of them from when i was a little girl. (and can i tell you something? even though i'm going to be your mommy, i still feel like a little girl today. i love it.) my mom- your grandma- would tell us, "we're going to the library today" or "put on your swimming suit!" or "we're having fried egg sandwiches for lunch" ... and i thought that it was just the best day ever. i hope it's like that for you. we're going to have an awesome time.

i think you might've had the hiccups yesterday. it was the first time i felt like there was a rhythm to your flutters. it was right before we got out of bed in the morning.. right before your mom's nose started dripping blood. yuck! bloody noses are becoming quite the thing around here. but don't worry, it just means that my blood volume is on the rise, which is what we want for you.

speaking of things going up, your mommy's weight. exciting. sometimes i stand in the shower and can't believe that my stomach is real- and it's you. my middle is so thick that i really don't recognize it anymore. i'm still in my normal jeans, but it's getting to be pretty amazing that i can maneuver into them. and my t-shirts! where did all the length go? but yesterday i figured out that your daddy's white tees now fit me like a dream, so i can just steal from his closet until you get here.

well, i'm glad you spent your first winter safe and warm inside my tummy. i'm glad you don't even know about winter yet. and now spring is almost here! today it's supposed to be 54 degrees outside, which is the warmest it's been since the very beginning of november. yay. pretty soon the hub will be opening, which is our favorite way to celebrate spring. we'll take you there for burgers and fries when you get here. you'll love it.

look out for lots more oranges in the next few weeks.. your daddy just bought us a whole new crate! mmm. i've been eating a few every day, as i'm sure you know. hopefully they taste as good to you as they do to me.

keep the kicks coming, they are my favorite.

loves,

your mom

dear baby

they told me once you start month 7 (which we did 2 days ago), your arms and legs will be getting longer and stronger. enough to make an impression on my abs. well we found that out for ourselves at 3:30 this morning, didn't we? remember when your kicks woke me up?! that was fun. lately your mom has been sleeping like a baby long and hard. seems like i've heard somewhere that babies don't sleep through the night :) well, your mommy still does, and i'm guessing that will last a bit longer yet, but i wouldn't mind some more wake-up kicks now and then either.

your favorite times to really get moving are when i lay down to sleep at night (which now requires a small pillow between my knees, and it happens to be the one that your dad made in 8th grade home ec class) and right before i get up in the morning, but i'm noticing more and more of your flutters throughout the day too. we've started a little game where once you've given me one of your big kicks, i will start talking to you and press on the spot where i saw you. i think you like playing along with me. you seem to be even more active when we're in the game.

last night your daddy and i went to the last home game of the basketball season. we're pretty much regulars in the stands now, and i love to think that the next time we sit on those high school bleachers, you'll be with us! i wonder if you'll be a basketball player like your dad? speaking of your daddy, lately he's been teasing me about the infamous double-sneeze i've adopted since you came into the picture. it seems like i can't sneeze singles anymore. weird.

last weekend we had sesame chicken for the first time! did you love it? that was one of the things your mommy craved when you were just starting out, and we finally, finally got it. yay. someday i will take you to ming's, where your mom spent many a $3.95 on sesame chicken in her high school days. the days when i drove a black geo prizm with your aunt haley, when i was using my very first debit card- except not at ming's because they only took cash, when i was wearing my favorite white sunglasses, and listening to john mayer in a cd player in my green bedroom. the days before i knew your dad and before i had a clue i would get to have you inside me.

we are still loving the treadmill, even though we've slowed down for the home stretch. and we're also doing prenatal pilates! very good for us. lots of pelvic floor work. apparently, "if we keep this up, we'll be ready for delivery." that's what the lady on the dvd tells me. all i know is that i feel really good while i'm doing that reverse plank. and my lower back aches are gone! i had some little ones at the very beginning, and i thought they'd get worse as you got bigger, but they've disappeared. my chiropractor says my pelvis looks "awesome." i never knew i'd be so excited to hear those words. i never knew i'd hear those words, period.

today your mom is listening to imogen heap (you'll know her by heart, i'm guessing) and baking some bread. two of her favorite things. i'm also planning on adding a few things to our baby registry for you. i find myself sitting up straighter at the desk when i remember that i have you inside me. you're a foot long by now! it blows me away that you have enough room in there. but i hear you like to be cozy, so i'm thinking the tight quarters are pretty dreamy to you.

it's march today! only april and may can keep us apart now.

loves.

your mom

dear baby

this morning i had a half-waking dream that you were waiting for me to come pick you up and hold you. you missed me. i can't stop thinking about it. i can't wait until it's real. in the dream, you wanted to see my face. have i told you how much i want to see yours?

we went to a check-up for you last friday and got all good news. yay! mommy's weight and blood pressure and tummy measurements were great, and you are great. this time, we found your itty bitty beating heart faster than ever. as soon as the gel hit my stomach- there you were. hearing your heartbeat is my favorite part.

and guess what? i can feel you.

your first flips and kicks came one morning when i was laying in bed, thinking about getting up for the day. i felt a wave under my skin and immediately knew this strange feeling must be from you. i waited for another ripple, just to make sure that i wasn't imagining things. it came. it was you! it was a thing too wonderful. i turned over to my side to see if you would follow me, and sure enough, you did. seconds later, i was reaching for the ipad on the nightstand to send your dad the good news. i was wild with excitement. ever since that morning, your fluttering has become more and more familiar, but it hasn't lost any of the magic. your dad happened to have his hand on my stomach when you gave us your strongest kick yet. way to go! we were sufficiently impressed and proud.

sometimes i lay down just to see if you'll flip for me. it makes me so happy to feel that surge under my skin and know that you are real. in fact, you are moving right now as i type this. do you know that i'm writing to you? the other night your dad and i were watching the shawshank redemption (one of our favorites) and before i knew it, he had fallen asleep and you had woken up. there i was on the living room floor, laughing at every flutter you gave. we were the only two that got the joke. it really does feel funny. and miraculous.

there are loads of sweet people that are waiting for you here. everybody's excited for june. your grandma renee sent you some classical music in the mail, which your mommy loves. i'm just amazed to think that you can hear it, too! i think you'll like it for naptime. and your grandma judy is giving you a super cool vintage tub, and her yummy roast beef, carrots, and potatoes at sunday dinner. i make sure to take seconds. you know, for you.

the baby book phase has hit your mom hard this week. i can't get enough information about you and what you're up to. i wish there was a window in my tummy so i could at least check in on you from time to time. i think the library books are doing the trick, though. the more i read, the more i'm pulled into the reality of you being, growing, and eventually coming. i think this information hunger is really stemming from me wanting to feel close to you. i know it sounds cliche, but i have this huge desire to bond with you. i'm craving it. 

a few weeks ago i unplugged the miniature christmas tree by my kitchen sink. as i was taking it down to the basement, i realized that the next time i plug it in, you'll be here. in the house with me! wow. i wonder what we'll do? i've been thinking about what kind of a mom i will be- what i want to be. i want you to know that i'm already praying hard about this. i'm praying that you will have a selfless, gentle, and wise mom.

your dad played drums in church last week. i wonder if you heard him. he's amazing. i can't wait to see you two together.

loves,
your mom

ps. i can see your profile in your ultrasound pictures... you are already more adorable than i dreamed.

dear baby

you won't believe it. and i guarantee you won't remember it. but you're going to disneyworld this weekend!! yay. your mom is over the moon about this place. i'll be sure to see all the best sights and smell all the wonderful smells for the both of us. you don't know this yet, but disneyworld has a smell. and it's magical. oh, and you're going to love the music there. the space mountain soundtrack is my favorite! but don't worry, i won't be going on any of the scary rides. (which are all my favorites, but it's okay. i'd much rather have you safe in my tummy than dropping 13 floors at the tower of terror.)

your dad and i have both been to disneyworld before, but this will be our very first time to go together. so i'm extra excited! it will be even more fun to take you with us next time. your dad's favorite things at disney are the buzz lightyear ride -which we will ride as much as we can- and the pineapple whip you can buy next to the indiana jones hats. i'm guessing he'll get one for you someday.

you're going to love the airport, i think. it's one of my favorite places! apparently there's a red mango at o'hare, so we'll be sure to get you some of that good stuff. i'll try to take lots of pictures and video so you can see your dad and me being kids before you were born. and i'll bring you back something good!

loves.
your mom
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dear friends, please tell me your favorites about disneyworld in the comments! i'd love to hear. places to go, things to see, treats to eat, etc. i love disney secrets:)


dear friends in florida, what should i pack?! are you wearing short sleeves these days?

dear baby




loves.
your mom